The Wounded Healer

In the book, The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen breaks down the conflicting question, “what does it mean to be a minister in contemporary society?” The book is broken down into four parts that relate to the conditions of a suffering world, a suffering generation, a suffering man, and a suffering minister. It is written to pastors, ministers, lay leaders, and all others who serve the church and society, yet still question their own relevance and effectiveness, seeing how there are no handbooks for ministers.

Chapter 1 goes into detail about the suffering world and the battles of such a mindset. The conflict with the church and the generation before it is an absence of clear boundaries, a place for ‘man’ to feel or be a meaningful connection with more than just the present, but the past and future also. He writes that the “nuclear man” is essentially a self aware person of the creative powers in their own life compared to self destruction possible in those same powers. This leads to man’s lack of preparation for the future. Man’s liberation from this is formed in three different ways: mystical, revolutionary, and Christian, all of which Jesus portrayed in His ministry.

The mystical way is that deep search inside you to find clarity. The revolutionary way is the method of transcending our human predicament. In the Christian way of man’s liberation, it is decided that changing the human heart and changing society are not two separate tasks.

The second chapter regards the suffering generation and the three characteristics that men and women of tomorrow: inwardness, fatherlessness, and convulsiveness. The inwardness characteristic is what gives absolute priority to self over others. This behavior is teaching that self actualization doesn’t come from “out there” or “up there”, but from within. Searching inward is the key to the mysteries of meaning, freedom, and control. Fatherlessness comes from the many of people raised without a father, leading to the belief that man’s worth is not based or dependent upon what their father gives them. Life has become not about being dependent on a father as much as it is more so being dependent on what you can do for yourself in your own life. In even more depth, men and women will automatically discredit any self claiming more mature, intelligent, powerful figure. Convulsiveness discusses the hidden unhappiness, knowing what is, should be what is, but they have no other choice. Looking at all three of these, a Christian is left challenged to be articulate, compassionate, and contemplative, firmly grounded in being a man of prayer, a man who has to pray, and a man who prays always.

In the suffering of man chapter, Henri Nouwen writes how leadership plays a role, in the basic sense of it being an encounter between two people. Christian leadership is accomplished through service. That may be through asking deep personal questions, regarding the meaning of faith and life, and embracing a strong hope that breaks through the boundaries of death. A Christian must enter a willingness to serve, despite all the human vulnerabilities attached because the way out of any conflict is going in, into the confusion and fear to rid it once and for all. Freedom is found in entering the fear in the fellowship of suffering to overcome it.

If the minister to lead at all, there are three roles that must be sought after: articulator of inner events, person of compassion, leader as contemplative critic. The articulator of inner events is about clarifying the immense confusion when people want to enter the “inner world”, guiding them on what it means to communicate with the source of human life. The victory comes for the minister when he can articulate the movements of his inner life, bringing light to the dark and unseen before areas of life. And this needs to come with authority, but authority filled with the nature of compassion. Without compassion, the intention may be misinterpreted and lead to more confusion of the authority given to the minister. Compassion will help rid the fear and anxiety, thus allowing for more energy to focus on the actual problem, not the emotions attached. And being contemplative in all this will prevent becoming too absorbed, allowing the real and new things to accomplish for those who have no direction in life.

The final part covers two types of ministers: The wounded minister and the healing minister. First we explore the wounded minister and the loneliness there of. Loneliness helps relate how experiences guide us through being broken. The minister going through this essentially is given a double dose of loneliness in he or she is carrying around not only the brokenness of self, but also of others.

Personal loneliness is a horrible wound to be inflicted by, but yet affects so many in societies today. People are always searching for an escape from reality, whether through self help books or the latest pop psychology, with little self awareness to handle themselves, much less conflicts with others. Even hobbies like sports can be an escape from the problems that originally should be faced. It is only when we dive into our loneliness that we find the beauty of being a Christian, because being a Christian and walking that way of life protects and cherishes it as a precious gift. Without this approach to pain and suffering, to conflicts, we are left with the inability to cope, continuing the search from relationship to relationship, job to job, book to book, all leaving us empty handed, merely putting a lid on the problems, not healing them. You can’t expect to find hope in a relationship with someone else. It must come from within. So the saying goes if one lonely person marries another lonely person, you are simply left with two lonely married people.

Professional loneliness of a minister can be slightly tricky. The minister is called to speak to matters like life or death, love and hate, union or separation, but may ultimately be standing at that fork in the road where decisions are to be made for him or herself as well. Thus the wound in a wounded minister comes in the form of being in the way when not needed and possibly not desired when things are good.

It is left to the minister that has found ways to use wounds as a means for healing to lead others to redemption. On page 88, Nouwen says, “Making one’s own wounds a source of healing, therefore, does not call for a sharing of superficial personal pains but for a constant willingness to see one’s own pain and suffering as rising from the depth of the human condition which all men share.” This comes through the form of hospitality and concentration and hospitality and community. Concentrating frees the minister from his own problems, a necessary precondition for true hospitality. It is a withdrawal from self to make space to invite another person in. No minister is going to save a person. He is merely a guide among other fearful people. It is in recognizing this fear in community of others, that hope is able to pull itself up to the surface. This hope motivates a deeper search into life, transforming other wounds of despair into hope. That, in itself, is the definition of being a witness, an example of a transformed life.

This book reached out to me in different ways, but the most affective part was the chapters on the suffering minister and how leadership and hospitality play a role in the healing of wounds and conflicts. It is only when exploring the pain comes an answer. The minister is then able to know exactly where faith and hope are in the life of a Christian, hopefully the central attitude. In this sense he can engage the suffering world, generation, and man. Searching and taking risks allow ideas and visions to be planted and born.

In relation to conflicts within the church, this book really helps point out the biggest underlying issue of all, attitude and posture of the heart. Without first acknowledging there are issues and problems to be faced in every arena of life, the church and pastor is only able to find ways to simply cover everything up. If I was given a position of pastor over a church, my hope is that I am merely a captain of a ship in God’s fleet of ships maneuvering through the open, sometimes rough, sometimes smooth seas of life. Without that acknowledgement, me or any minister is naively guiding people into the open waters without a compass. Going into ministry means understanding there will be conflicts, but also understanding the true meaning of communion at the same time. Coming together in hospitality, concentration, and communion, to me, means allowing myself to be broken and pouring out my life as authentically as Christ did for all man. There may be days when denying my selfish desires may be the exact thing needed to bring healing to others.